Seeds of Sabbatical: Seasons Changing

If you’re reading this, you know that seeds are transformation.

You know they crack open.

You know they follow the light, even if they have to wait.

You know they change, over and over, as the world around them changes.

In more ways than we’ll ever know, gardens grow us more than we grow them.

As we enter a significant season of shift here at Fruition, we are leaning into the care, generosity and resilience of seeds, our 400 million year old ancestors.

Since late summer 2021, we’ve been actively re-imagining Fruition, leaning toward:

~ more democratic decision-making

~ more courageous alignment of our deepest values and actions

~ greater ease and resilience in our systems

~ building capacity of our soil and staff to surround our community with adaptive abundance beyond our lifetimes 

In full disclosure, I embarked in earnest with these intentions, hoping to sidestep my own burnout…

…and Friends, I didn’t make it.

As a person grieving the ravages of capitalism and committed to opening possibilities for new approaches to emerge, being the founder of a business in a capitalist world has run my deepest well dry. (For the cliff-notes distillation of my internal struggle, you’ll find it in the post script.)

Like seeds cracked open wide, how do we keep singing? 

 I am heading into a sabbatical season of my life, wintering in Twisp Washington. I’ll be skiing in mountains, re-wilding my mythologies and rehydrating my imagination as I nourish my nervous system in sweet community and practice the self-care I dream of for us all. I’m stepping back so I can step back in more joyfully, in ways I do not yet know.

This I do know: Fruition is in better hands than ever. 

Though creating liberatory and visionary, adaptive capacity is work beyond our lifetimes, the many beating hearts carrying Fruition into the next season are expansive and extraordinary both in their living and in their loving. Not to mention the vast oceans of affirmation and care our wide community (yes, that’s you!) infuse us with daily and deeply:

Thank you!

This I also know: See you in April! I cannot WAIT to be together at Fruition’s Garden Store this spring, sharing seeds as well as hands-on experiences centering the hard and soft skills of life, growth, transformation and love.  You’ll continue to hear my voice throughout the winter on social media and in our weekly emails, as well.

Friends, I am grateful to be in community with you & with us all, learning ever to sow deeper seeds and sing more courageously loving songs.

We are the seeds.

We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. 

Sending love to the seeds and gardens that grow us all!

Sow Seeds & Sing Songs,

with the care of the Fruition Crew

ps

Books are dear friends in our lives. Here’s what I’m reading and thanks for sharing any titles, poets, podcasts, music & anything else transformative in your life ~

See No Stranger, Valerie Kaur

The Persuaders, Anand Giridharhadas

Sacred Instructions, Sherri Mitchell

Rites and Responsibilities, Darcy Ottey

Hospicing Modernity, Vanessa Machado de Oliveira

The Body is Not an Apology, Sonya Renee Taylor

Emergent Strategy, adrienne maree brown

Awakening Artemis, Vanessa Chakour

pps

What I didn’t know ten years ago made it possible for Fruition to exist and Friends, here’s a cliff-notes version of the tectonic shifts, both past and so very present in my life:

1983: Petra is born (thanks, Mom! I love you SO much!)

Childhood: In father’s garden, saving seeds

Foundational worldview: Life is delicious & abundance surrounds us.

2002: Graduates high school, working on organic farms across the continent, saving seed in earnest. 

Foundational worldview: Small scale, decentralized agriculture is delicious & resilient.

2012: After 7 years of dreaming of starting a seed company, Fruition is co-founded with Matthew (partner in life & love & all of the above) amid tremendous affirmation in my hometown.

Foundational worldview: Decentralized seed is regionally adapted seed; how better to love the world than share seeds I love with humxns I love? 

2016-Present: Deepening awareness of cultural appropriation and white, able-bodied supremacy embedded in capitalism pairs with my awakening that in centering my voice & face as Fruition’s, we perpetuate modern boot-strapping mentality, among other oppressive narratives that separate as well as harm ourselves and each other.

Foundational worldview: Seed sold is seed commodified, concentrating resource and privilege in colonizers & colonization. Fruition may not be Monsanto, but I am nonetheless a colonizer. 

Present: Rowen White says, ‘150 years ago seed companies didn’t exist. In 150 years, if we do our work well, they won’t need to exist.’ Knowing the work of deep, personal growth is lifelong and the work of vast social shift is well beyond our lifetimes, how can we align our actions more deeply with our values today, in ourselves and in our organizations? How can a seed company compost commercialization and commit to the intergenerational work of Community Seed?

Present Worldview: Though I’ve been trying to live courageously into ‘love what you critique and critique what you love’ for several years, hindsight confirms I’ve been feeding the (voraciously compelling) critique wolf and burnout is real. (Researchers posit that burnout is fed by three feelings: exhaustion, cynicism, and a lack of professional efficacy. In this season of my life, I epitomize these, Loves.) How can I deepen my commitment to love and deep belonging in myself and in the world?

Future: See you in April! I cannot WAIT to be together at Garden Store this spring, sharing seeds as well as hands-on experiences centering the hard and soft skills of life, growth, transformation and love. More deeply: my work at Fruition will shift toward social network & transformation, allowing me to do more of what I love and do well: nourish embodied humxn + plant relationship.

Aspirational worldview: Abundance surrounds us. Abundance is us. Danielle Ponder sings the three word revolution: I Love Myself! Robin Wall Kimmerer: All flourishing is mutual. Leah Penniman: Demonization is colonization. Molly Costello: We have been given all the tools. We are the seeds. Mycelium in the making. Iteration is love and iterate we shall. 

Thank you for reading & joining us on the journey; sending love to you, wherever you are on your journey!